"Maria, collect your toys."
"Juan, to dinner."
"Pedro, I told you twenty times that it is time to wash your teeth."
Sometimes parents have the feeling that we talk to our children and do not listen to us. You ask your little one to do something, but as if he could rain. He ignores you or pays attention. You may feel frustrated and irritated, even perhaps you end up losing your patience and you escape some scream, right? I know. It is a situation that is repeated in many families.
As a mother and teacher, I know how frustrating things can be repeated many times. For this reason, I bring you simple strategies to achieve your children's attention without resorting to screaming, punishments, blackmail or threats. And it is possible to obtain the collaboration of our little ones talking with respect, calmly and affection as with clear messages. Let's look at some example:
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My son does not listen to me! 5 tips to get your attention
1. Anticipate
The first tool consists in establishing clear standards previously. For example: your child wants to see the cartoons for a while. Before turning on the TV, remember time and make sure you understand it. Instead of telling him "You have 10 minutes" (The little ones do not have the temporal notion assimilated), better indicates: "We see 2 chapters and when the second ends, we turn off the TV."
2. Make sure you have your attention
Sometimes we give the orders talking from another room, shouting. Instead, approach to the place where he is. Star, place yourself at your height, call them by name and look for visual contact while you give the message with a soft and firm tone at the same time. You can ask you to repeat what you have told you, to make sure you have understood.
3. Clear and concrete message
Sometimes, without realizing it, we are giving us many orders: "Do not jump," "Stop running," "Get off that you are going to fall." Instead of giving several slogans, it is better to go step by step.
Tell him what you expect to do, and say it in affirmative. For example, instead of "Don't run that you're going to fall" You can tell him "Here you have to walk slowly."
4. Offer limited options
Can you imagine being receiving orders all day? "Dress" "Gather your toys" "Come here" "Go to sleep"… We all like to feel that we can choose, that we have control over our life and we can make decisions. There are moments in the day to which we can let our children make decisions. For example, when it comes to dressing: offer two sets and be he who chooses between those two options.
5. Check your expectations
Frequently, the problem is not what children do or stop doing. The problem is that adults have unrealistic expectations about how a child should behave. We intend to behave in a way that does not correspond to their age or their level of development and this causes us frustration both to them. For example: Ask a two -year -old boy who is sitting in the restaurant's chair is unrealistic. In that case, it will touch me to adapt and look for options. I am the adult, not him.
If we want our children to listen to us, it is important that, in addition to applying the previous recommendations, Let's take care of our language. Taking care of language implies being aware of both the message itself, as the tone, gestures, volume, posture ...
How well you know, In parenting there are no magic formulas, but tools that help us connect and act consciously Instead of getting carried away by the despair of the moment.
And you, do you feel that your child doesn't listen to you when you talk to him? Do you think you can apply any of the tools I propose in the article? I encourage you to reflect on it and put it into practice.
Below I leave you more entries related to positive discipline and respectful education, in case you are interested in continuing reading on this topic:
