In today's post I share my new article 6 strategies for a calm Christmas published in El Periòdic. You can read the original article in Catalan here. And below I leave you the Spanish translation:
We are on the verge of Christmas, a time of joy and happiness, especially for the little ones. We all begin the Christmas holidays full of enthusiasm and good intentions, but as the days progress, nerves, stress and frustration are likely to appear when we see that we do not achieve everything: our children's school holidays, conciliation, family commitments, last-minute purchases. time... And to all this we add the typical threats that appear year after year around this time, as well as over-the-counter children with a large number of gifts that they are not able to manage.
How to avoid the stress of these holidays and enjoy them calmly? Let's see below some strategies that we can take into account for a happy Christmas with the family.
6 strategies for a calm Christmas
1. Lower expectations
Much of the stress that accompanies us this time of year is due to our expectations. Each of us has a idealized image what Christmas is like perfect, but this image is not always fulfilled, which generates us frustration. What's more, our ideal Christmas does not have to coincide with the expectations of our parents, partner or children.
It is advisable to stop and reflect on which of the issues that concern us are really important, how to solve them (if they have a solution) and which are beyond our control. Let's give space for express our needs and search, among all, solutions.
2. Review routines
We will probably take advantage of the Christmas holidays to make small changes to the routines that we follow more strictly during the school year. In this sense, it is important to be clear and agree on what routines can relax these days and what others it is important that we continue to keep the same. Let's not forget that routines provide security for children, so it is not advisable to turn these holidays into an “every man for himself.”
3. Christmas, much more than gifts
Children are exposed to high doses of advertising, whether through the large number of toy catalogs that we receive at home or advertisements on television. And unfortunately Christmas has become synonymous with consumerism for young and old.
There is more and more talk about gifted child syndrome, which refers to children who receive an excessive amount of gifts. This excess can have negative implications, such as giving things little value or low tolerance for frustration thinking that everything is easy to get and that they don't need to work hard to get what they want. But let's not fool ourselves: We adults are the ones causing the gifted child syndrome. because we are the ones who buy those gifts. We are the parents, grandparents, uncles and relatives who, with all our good intentions, each year we strive to find the gift that may please the most.
Our children don't need 20 gifts. What they need is to spend time with us: time in quantity and quality.
Our presence and attention is your best gift.
4. Anticipate
During the first years of life, the child barely understands what is happening during the Christmas season. You see changes in the decoration of the house, meals with family members that you may not even remember, one day you wake up and there are a lot of gifts around the tree... It is important that we explain them clearly. simple and adapted language to their capabilities what we are experiencing, trying to give them a little advance notice of what is going to happen.
Anticipate and put words to what will happen security and peace of mind to our children: where will we go to eat today, who will be there, if there will be noise, what will we do next... Let's explain to them what they will find. And also once the family meeting is over, let's put words to the nerves they may feel, how they have experienced it, etc.
5. Flee from threats and blackmail
- “If you don't behave, Santa Claus won't bring you gifts”.
- “If you don't pick up your toys, the Three Wise Men will pass you by”.
Do these types of phrases sound familiar to you? Parents, grandparents, teachers say it... They are phrases that we have heard so many times that we repeat often without stopping to process what is behind, without any bad intention.
If we pay attention we will see that they do not stop being blackmail and threats. And yes, they probably work instantly and we get the child to do what we want, but at the same time we are teaching him to:
- Obey for the simple fact of getting something in return
- He also threatens others when he wants to get what he wants.
- Accept bribes
Furthermore, we are making a threat that, in most cases, we are not going to comply: Even if your behavior is not always appropriate, you will have gifts. Therefore, we are saying one thing and doing another. A contradictory message.
Let's stop playing with the innocence of children to get them to listen to us. Let's not use their illusion as a manipulation tool.
Let's give ourselves the opportunity to enjoy these days without blackmail or threats.
6. Breathe
Remember that you can always stop for a few moments and breathe consciously. If you feel like you can't take it anymore, if your child is over the top or if you receive an unfortunate comment from a family member... Breathe. Stop for a few moments, pause what you are doing and observe your body with each inhalation and exhalation. It doesn't matter where you are at that moment or who with. Your breath always accompanies you.
Below I leave you a couple of entries related to Christmas, in case you are interested in continuing reading on this topic:
